Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You made out with two different species that night
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize