just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
