She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
