Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Do vagina's smell?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize