I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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