actually, I'm a sock model
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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