you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
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my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
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Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I think my moral compass just broke
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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