her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
