I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
