covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
