I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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