Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just gargled with NyQuil
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
