So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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