and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
