I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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