you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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