The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
