Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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