why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
