I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
