That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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