Sacagawea was the original milf.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
