its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
vagina is talking i cant
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
