Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
is it fun? or sober?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
