Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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