hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
