I just made out with a guy for $7.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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