If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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