i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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