I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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