I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
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ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
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It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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