Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize