I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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