Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
