Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
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He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
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We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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