You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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