it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
