I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
A bitchslap is in order.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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