in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
