I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
