Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
