You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
