I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
