Please, let me fuck your mom
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
