i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
