she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
