i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
