I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
