Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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