you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement