You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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