We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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